Survival Guide for “Santas”
“We really gotta up our game this year, because we are Santas now!”
My partner and I were discussing the mysterious sense of stress that we are feeling this year, and we started to realize that this year, our toddler has come out of the haze of the baby year, and started to become an active participant in activities. And we also willingly join the army of “Santas” (like many parents). And as newly minted Santas, we feel excited and stressed at the same time.
Here’s the tip of the iceberg for why the holidays feel so stressful
The high (and unrealistic) expectations of making Christmas “magical”. In 2025, our reference points are not only the cheesy holiday movies (that are somewhat easy to remember scenes set by professionals) but also the influencers’ “real life” holiday-with-me videos that make perfectionism feel so natural and at ease. Of course we feel the stress of trying to measure up, even when we set intentions to not do that.
More demands on your energy, money, and nervous system. Holiday celebration events, gift exchanges, meal making and hosting, and being good guests are all extra demands on top of the daily grinds we carry, services we provide, and operations we run. And finding space to budget in these extras is no small challenge to our already depleted and stressed body-mind.
Gathering of triggers. Our family gathering or lack thereof is also a gathering of the triggers. This is the time when old losses feel fresh, and old scars feel raw again. It’s the time when vulnerability crushes your party, whether it is expected or not.
Let’s allow ourselves to survive the holidays. And what better about survival than deep breathing our way through the season!
And as you breathe, here are some
Survival Tips for Santas(Parents)
The holiday season is hard AND I can cope.
This will be my mantra for myself that will take me through the most tricky, frustrating, and exhausting moments of navigating through the holiday to-do list/obligations.
Make a holiday to-do list (best way to externalize your mental load)
Make a list of people that you need to get gifts/cards for (for example, daycare teachers, families, colleagues, friends), and brainstorm gift idea one at a time, write the cards one at a time (so you don’t ruminate and cycle through ideas in your head over and over)
Make a list of holiday meal dishes, if you are hosting (you don’t have to).
Always reserve the right NOT TO HOST.
If you just had a baby, just lost a beloved pet, just on the last straw to burnout, remember that you can always opt out of hosting. Alternatively, you can meet for dinner at the restaurant around the holiday season, heck, even a holiday brunch. Why not?
Decorate as a family
Make it a family activity to create the magic as a team. It might not be the most perfect magic, but it will be the least resentful magic.
Communicate what you want with your partner, out loud.
Even gifts. If your wish is no gift, or no material gifts, and you would rather have a small bank of me-time voucher/an experience/activity gift, communicate this too.
Acknowledge the changes
What you do during the holiday this year does not determine/set the tone for future holidays. Children grow up and become more capable; their needs change, and so your holiday tradition changes. It is okay not to do everything this year. It’s okay to not do some of the things you always do.
